Posted on Friday 8th of May 2020 10:00:03 AM
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A girl I know, who was previously single and dating in the States, has now been living in France for almost 3 years, and she finds herself wanting to start dating again, but at the same time wants to maintain a high social status in France, so she tries to avoid all the "bait and switch" stuff that most American girls do, such as hooking up and going home with other people, or pretending to be another guy in order to get dates, or trying to look hot and confident while not being an obvious "seduction expert".
What is really fascinating to me, is that she's managed to meet so many guys through a lot of "bait and switch", but never actually found a date, and she's found she actually prefers dating more traditional, married men in France.
This isn't a typical American dating story. This is a French-based one, but it's a story about how a girl who has always wanted to date in the States (and who has been married and looking for a new man for the past 7 years), now finds herself living in France for almost 3 years, and has found herself wanting to start dating again, but at the same time, she wants to maintain a high social status in France, so she tries to avoid all the "bait and switch" stuff that most American girls do, such as hooking up and going home with other people, or pretending to be another guy in order to get dates, or trying to look hot and confident while not being an obvious "seduction expert".
As it turns out, this French girl, who used to be looking for a man who wanted to stay in a relationship, has ended up finding herself dating a guy who's not only a "new man" for her, but also for her. And while they've been dating, she has gotten to know the guy, and it's actually been quite the "romance".
What I can't quite get my mind around is this girl's social status (and if she was ever "sexy", she probably wasn't). I mean, she is clearly a very intelligent woman, and I can understand that women in a certain situation like this would seek out "seduction experts" and guys who they think could give them a more "successful" social status, but I can't see her ever going out and meeting someone who was already married and "living it up", in order to get a date.
And then I think about the girl's husband, who I assume is also a guy, and I'm really confused about this whole situation. I don't know why it would be that her husband isn't interested in dating her, and she's actually finding herself dating a man who has lived in the States for a while now. What I can't figure out, is why she wants to be in a relationship with him now.
I think a lot about this and I think she's a bit jealous of her current life. I don't know if it's a lot, or whether it's nothing. But there's a lot that makes me feel like she has some things in her life that she doesn't yet have, in comparison to him. And I think there's a lot more in the future. I think the relationship has been working out really well for them. I also think he's had more to do with her happiness than she has had. She's been in a really good place so far. It's a long process of going on a date, of having her say "OK, I'm interested, I want to see you, I want to get to know you." But, of course, at the end of the day, he's the one who has to make the final decisions, and he's making them for her. He's putting the pressure on her.
I just want to say that if you're thinking about starting a relationship with a girl, do it in a place where you know you'll have all the support you need, where there's a lot of mutual respect, where you can find ways to improve your chances of getting to know her. I think that a lot of the people in that situation don't have any idea of the kind of support that they'll need. So, you can get out there and talk to some of these guys and find out if they're really ready for the commitment. As for the "relationship," it doesn't have to be an official partnership. It could be just as casual as any other friendship, but it would have to be one that would last, you know, a year, you know. Or even longer. So, there's really no way to know what to expect. You really have to have a lot of trust and feel safe with this guy. And, of course, a lot of women do, because, hey, you never know what this person has been through. So, it is a kind of "friendship" - and, trust me, you're never going to be with him forever. If you want to try that out, you have to take the time to get to know him. And don't worry about him going for that first date - you know it's not going to last forever. There are plenty of women out there who are into "the big five" as a dating style.
The last and probably most important part of your dating life is your "relationship" with the man you are about to marry. And, like many men who marry young, you don't know what you're going to get with him for the rest of your life. You don't know whether he's going to be an emotional support or a control freak who wants to keep things as they are, or a man who will love you for yourself and the way you're different, or just a guy you want to keep your hands off. It is your responsibility to get to know your new husband and make the best of what you've got.